The past three months were an exhausting emotional roller coaster ride. Despite chronic transition fatigue, lately I find myself feeling as though I’m waking up to the truth of the entire situation for the very first time. This morning a strong and insistent voice in the back of my mind started saying: “That’s it. Give up. Surrender”.
What am I giving up? Anger. What am I surrendering to? Acceptance.
It seems that I am finally beginning to understand that my futile wish to change an ending that has already happened is holding me hostage to hurt and despair. The last chapter was finalized, printed and circulated without my input. An opportunity for a do-over never existed. At least not for me.
This basically leaves me facing the hurdle of acceptance. Simple idea. Complex process. Surrendering frees up space for peace to grow; eventually overcoming the chaos churning inside. Not easy, but a necessary part of grieving. Doing so makes room for hope to blossom and healing to set in.
It seems fitting at this time that I am attending a yoga retreat in California. What better way to give up, give in, surrender. A path of outward transformation must begin within.
I’m curious to uncover the latest version of myself as I move on to the next chapter. It feels really good to contemplate fresh pages of writing appearing in my book of life. Authored by Me.